“The unconscious path leads to repeating patterns,
until the hard lesson is learnt.
The pressure of the stuff of life on Edwin was building to breaking point.
Then this note turned up on his doorstep.
Work was getting ever more frenetic. More people asking for more help – same old, same old. He was thankful there had not been any more similar interactions with his boss, probably because he was doing more and more and was only keeping himself together by the sheer power of will. To cap it all he was also having financial difficulties that were making life look darker, bleaker.
The note this time sent his mind into a frenzy of self-doubt. Was he just repeating things? Was he learning anything? Did he really know himself? Perhaps this was to be expected given his introspective nature – he knew that about himself at least. When he confided in his friends, some said that they knew others in the same boat, so it was not just an isolated phenomenon.
Same boat indeed: Up the Creek – Capital C – without a paddle.
He was beginning to see that it was a matter of knowing himself, mainly knowing his limits, and being clear about his boundaries. Once he gained this insight he felt justified in pushing back at people and saying No. He just hoped he didn’t sound like a two year old. Then there was his best friend Quentin. He was as eccentric as his name sounded and, boy, did he have some funny ideas. He said that Edwin needed to do more. At which point Edwin went ballistic.
More! Yes More. Capital M.
Once Edwin had returned to Earth, luckily he had not achieved escape velocity, he managed to calm down from swearing at Quentin and finally ended up sharply berating him for his lack of empathy. As he drew breath, Quentin pointed out that Edwin had to do More Of The Right Things. Activities that gave his self more fulfilment, more energy. He must carve out the time for himself Consciously. Edwin heard Quentin put the capital letter in the sentence.
It was then that Edwin went very very quiet. A mood that stayed with him all the way on the walk home, the previous frenzy of his mind replaced by an ethereal calm. As he walked he calmly breathed in, breathed out, breathed in, breathed out.
The latest note went on the clipboard. This time with more than just the date. At the bottom he annotated it with the following word:
© Charles Tolman 2012.